Month: October 2010

Dig if you will the picture


Many of us tend to live our lives with a lot of “things that need to happen before I am satisfied” conditions. There can be a variety of things such as getting a new car, or bigger house, or new outfit or shoes, or cleaning up that mess in the basement / garage / guest room, or quitting the smoking / drinking / over eating habit, or finding the right man or woman, or finishing school, or a better job, or paying off the credit card… Well you get the idea. 

I would contend that for many of us there is quite a list. And what we might not really realize is that by the time these conditions are met, we will have found new items that have been added to the list.

Here is an thought, act like these conditions have already been achieved. Imagine that you already have the things you want. How does it make you feel? Imagine it. Feel the feelings of having it. For material things, you may want to develop a specific plan to get the thing you desire. Realize though, generally, we are really chasing the feeling we get from having that thing.

More importantly, act how you think the person that has achieved those goals would act. If you wish you were a vegetarian, when you are choosing a food ask yourself what would a vegetarian eat. Choose that food. If you wish you didn’t smoke, play the role of a non-smoker. Do what they would do instead. If you want to lose weight, every choice you make, make the choice a healthy person would make. Imagine what they would do and do it. If you wish your house was cleaner, imagine you have a clean house and take the actions that someone with a clean house would have. It is a subtle shift in thinking but can make a world of difference.

Play the role. Become a childlike for a moment and put every ounce of your new condition into that role. Feel it. Act as if things are already the way you want them to be. Before you know it, they will be.

Unconditionally Yours

I recently read somewhere about just putting an idea out there and seeing what happens. I can’t remember if it was Leo Babauta, Everett Bogue, Chris Guillebeau or who specifically said it. I suppose who said it doesn’t matter. I suppose what matters is that I am taking a leap. I’m seeing if an idea such as this could take root somewhere for someone.

 
Unconditionality


When we are looking for people’s acceptance, what we are really hoping for is an unconditional love although we probably don’t realize it. We keep trying to get someone’s approval thinking that this is the time when they will realize our worth. This is when they will take us for who we are. Love us no matter what. This is what people are after.

So many people are constantly striving for complete acceptance. Yearning to end the fear of being left alone. We are looking for an unconditional love that we are taught from birth is hard to get. Even in the Bible, it says we need to do certain things to be loved by G-d. As we are being raised and into adulthood, we have to do various things to please our parents, family members, teachers, bosses and mentors. If we don’t, they will be unpleased and we will suffer. They will take away the love is doled out as a reward. We must jump through the hoops they put forth to feel their love. If we don’t, punishment.

Maybe that is why we have the addictions and over indulgences we do. Seeking that comfort that is so hard to find. Our parents gave it in limited quantities. So do many of our friends and lovers at some point. If individuals felt unconditional love and support from the people in their lives, if they felt able to be who they really are… how different would this world be?

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