"Pretty much every day I wonder when I'm going to start doing something I enjoy. Then I continue my day doing things that make me miserable. At some point I'll realize the only thing stopping me is me."

At some point I'll realize the only thing stopping me is me. I re-read that the next morning when I woke up. I read it before I left for work, before the world was awake. I read it before the day defeated me as it tends to do anymore.

At some point I'll realize the only thing stopping me is me. It kept resonating with me throughout the day, the next day too, and the one after that.

So then, what are you gonna do about it?

I'm not really sure yet. I know I need to do something. Well really, I need to do a lot of things but I will try to start with one at a time.

Yesterday evening I made a last minute decision to go to concert in town. I walked up to the box office, scored second row seats in the loge. That didn't make me miserable. It set off a small spark in me. It was one small step for Adam.

Maybe I'm also starting a change by just putting this out there. After reading Crazy Talk: The Do-What-You-Love Guide, I felt compelled to post something.

I'd like to think that my constant state of frustration will motivate me to continue to take the steps needed to create an amazing life. I think I need to focus on creating a way to earn a living doing something I love. I have a few ideas. I just need to figure out how to execute on them. At some point I'll realize the only thing stopping me is me.

I rarely read fiction... Can anyone help me out with some suggestions on fiction books? I don't have a genre preference at the moment.

Right. I never really gave much thought about that either. Well, until last night...

Last night I listened to a podcast from This American Life, entitled Mr. Daisey and the Apple Factory. I had heard about it from Leo on Mac Break Weekly. (...or was it This Week In Tech.)

It isn't about Apple. It is about people.

This is a must listen to story. The meat of it is about 40 minutes long. It conveyed concepts about my technology goodies in which I had never given much consideration.

Take the time. Listen to this story.

You can listen here to an exchange between US Border guards and a Canadian couple trying to go to the mall where this information is revealed.

via John Haydon

The Awakening

(Author unknown)

A time comes in your life when you finally get It…when, in the midst of all your fears and Insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your AWAKENING.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety, and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are…and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn't do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs are burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO!

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it, and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's okay to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happened to unsuspecting good people…and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, and a long hot shower.

Then you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself, and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window, so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

"City living intensifies brain stress response and increases mental illness risk"